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Psychologist Linda Santoro was
interviewed on television recently on the topic of the six types of friendships
psychologists say each of us needs in our life to happy. She elaborated on the
best friend, the fun friend, the wise friend, the community friend, the mentor
friend, and the opposite gender friend. It got me thinking of the different types of
friendships each of us needs in business to be successful – whether you're
running your own business or contributing to the success of a company. Lo and behold, I came up with my own six
types! Based on my experience of managing complex
technical projects as well as working one-on-one with executives as a business
coach, here are the six different types of friendships that each of us benefits
from seeking, developing, and enjoying. 1. A
friend who is marketing smart -- someone who helps you
understand the implications of your actions and encourages you to be visible at
the right times and in the right ways. When my friend Fred told me to spend 20%
of my time promoting the success of my projects inside a Fortune 100 company
where we both worked, I thought he was nuts. "What could possibly be
gained? What would I say? Who should I be talking to about this?" are all
questions that sprang to mind. But I did it anyway, figured out the steps, and
it led not only to higher recognition for the work of my project team and
division, but others in the company volunteered to help in ways I didn't expect
or imagine. As an entrepreneur, it's critical to spend at least a day a week
devoted to networking, PR, and staying in touch with my clients. 2. A
friend who is politically smart -- someone who
understands what battles to fight, and how to fight to win when something really
matters. My friend Charley taught me a valuable lesson in this regard many years
ago when he was explaining how he got into a posh tennis club so quickly.
"I asked around and found out who I needed to beat to get their attention
and who I needed to lose against to get their support." This kind of friend
also understands what motivates the people who can help your career and buy from
your business. 3. A
friend who is technically smart - someone who can help
demystify the jargon without leaving out important details. Technology is a big
and ever-changing environment; no matter how much you know in this field, you
couldn't go wrong having friends with different areas of specialty. I have
different friends who I talk to when I have a large scale information system
design issue compared to getting an opinion on how to optimize a snazzy Flash
animation -- different experts for different areas of expertise. I've also
learned to make new friends quickly while working on projects; doing so has
saved valuable time. Some people may know several technical areas very well and
that adds value to their perspective. 4. A
friend who is business smart - someone who cannot only
grasp the connections within and between departmental functions, how to
structure a offer or negotiate a deal, but how to see the hidden potentials of
your assets. I have been so fortunate to learn from business people who are so
good at this; it's inspiring. One of the first times I sat with someone like
this, I was amazed. I was invited to participate in a meeting as a consultant to
a project, and one of the other business managers was a man named Harland.
Harland's multidimensional mind could see combinations and opportunities for
working together that were astounding. We got several days worth of work done in
an afternoon as a result of his insights and participation, and raised the
quality of our deliverables, as well. 5. A
friend who is financially smart -- someone who has two
very important qualities fits in this category. First, this person is someone
who is competent with financial matters, not just someone who "knows a
thing or two" about tracking stocks or balancing a checkbook. Professional
experience and training count for a lot, though in some cases, having a level or
two greater expertise with a financial tool (whether EDS or QuickBooks,
depending on your circumstances), could be just the thing you need. The second
important quality needed to be a financial friend is that you trust this person.
Sure you could hire an accountant, a certified professional. There's a time and
a place for that, and I certainly advocate that everyone in business have a good
accountant to turn to. A financial friend could be your accountant, but it could
also be the friend you play doubles with who you can talk to after the match and
get an objective and informed opinion. 6. A
friend who is a mentor or coach - either formally or
informally, someone who knows your challenges, knows your goals, and holds out
the perspective and possibility of you succeeding in your chosen endeavors. You
may find it helpful to think back to a teacher who was particularly interested
in seeing you reach a goal, or a sports coach who believed in you and provided
the techniques and encouragement to succeed. It might be a manager or supervisor
at work who takes the long view of the business and knows the benefits of
nurturing the next level of leadership. In my first job after college, I was a
computer director at a New England boarding school. I was well-qualified
technically for the position, but if it weren't for my friend Terry, I would
have been battling the unwritten rules of the organization that are rarely
covered in any orientation. Terry helped me understand what committees to
volunteer for, what deadlines and social functions to pay particular attention
to, and in general, helped me navigate the choppy waters of a new work culture. Jot down the names of the people who come to
mind in each of these categories. In what area or areas do you find it easiest
to make friends? Are these areas ones that are most similar to your area of
strength? In other words, the engineers find it easiest to make technical
friends, the marketing types gravitating toward other marketing types, and so
on. What are the areas that you have found the most challenging in making
friends? It's never too late to reach out to someone
new! Now, after you've identified the friends that you need in order to be successful, spend a few moments thinking about the people you know who would put you on THEIR list. What kind of friend are you? How have you helped your friends succeed? What can you do to become an even better friend to those who count on you? |
