"Listening is the most important part of communication."

Most of the good leaders I have met have certain characteristics in common.  They are aggressive.  They are go-getters.  They have vision. They communicate very well.  They like to talk about what they are doing.

Most of the great leaders I have met have an additional characteristic: They are great listeners who understand that listening to their followers and acting upon what they hear, is at the core of great leadership.

Communication is imperative for the leader.  Yet too often, leaders think of communication solely as what goes out from them.  The true secret of leadership and of keeping your followers motivated to follow your leadership, is the power of the one segment of communication that most leaders do not emphasize enough: Listening.

Listening to your followers is the surest way to win them over to your side, find out what drives them, what they are looking for, and what keeps them motivated.  It truly is the gold standard for being a motivational leader.  It is the seed from which any and all leaders can find the power to keep their followers motivated and engaged at all times.  The leaders who truly listen and then act upon what they hear from their followers in a timely manner that is both beneficial for the followers as well as fitting for the organizational vision and mission will stand head and shoulder above those leaders who do not place proper emphasis on the listening process.

The first priority of communication is listening.

A leader's job is to take the organization further and to execute the mission and vision of the organization.  I have found many leaders tend to sit around and think about how to do this, then dictate to everyone else what they have decided on how they are all going to get there.  After all, they are smart people these leaders.  They know how to gain a vision, develop a strategy, communicate well, and lead the trop, right?

Unfortunately, many leaders never go as far as they could because they limit their communication to what they say.  Their priority is to talk, not to listen.  Their first priority should be to listen.  At every stage listening provides us with the opportunity to learn, to broaden our horizons, to see what we don't see and to gain insights from others angles we are not prone to have ourselves.

Listening is foundational to being fully prepared as a leader.  It is the primary way we are able to see with the scope we need t lead our organizations.  It isn't bad to have the input from others.  It doesn't mean we are poor leaders because someone else has a better idea than we do.  In fact, a great leaders wants this to happen.  They know that leadership is about collecting all of the data and making the best decision for the organization.  Then, everybody wins.  The leader looks good and the organization gains a victory.  It all begins with listening.

If we don't listen, how will we gather the information we need to make the important decisions we have to make for the good of all concerned? No, for the great leader, listening is the first priority of communication.

Listening creates bonds.

Besides enabling you access to a broad range of information, listening develops relationships with those you are listening to.  And, as we know from the rule of relationship, that is probably even more important as we strive to fully engage and motivate our followers.

When we listen to people, we connect with them.  You can develop a strong connection with someone when you are talking if you are on target, speaking there language and passionate about what you are talking about.  But you are virtually guaranteed to make a connection with a person if you sincerely listen to them and give them your undivided attention.

Have you ever sat with a friend and had them pour out their heart to you, while you just sat there and listened?  Then when they are done, they stand up and say, "Thank you so much.  You have been so helpful!"

Inside you think, "What did I do?"  This is because people long for others to hear them, to listen to them, and to connect with them.  And when they do, they are engaged.

When that bond is created, the follower commits to you in ways they never have before.  They are much more likely to listen to you.  They are much more willing to act on your leadership.  They will go to bat for you in your absence.  They act out of relationship now.  All of this happens because you listened to them.

Listen and they will tell you what they will follow.

Another key aspect of leadership through listening is that people will tell you what they will follow.  Now obviously the followers cannot set the agenda for the organization according to their whims and sole desires, but if we listen well, we can hear exactly what and how they will follow in the context of the overall vision of the company.  It is just our jobs as leaders to ask the right questions, listen well, and translate that into our own context.  Then when we lead, we lead according to what they have already told us and we will have much more success in complishing our goals through our followers.

A good example of successful leadership through listening would be in the sales process.  Many people don't understand that selling is all about leadership.  Both are the art of influence.  A sales person is leading the sales process.  If a person comes on a car lot and the sales person approaches them trying to sell a certain car, they limit their chances for success.  If instead they listen to everything the potential customer is looking for, they can simply show them cars that fit that description and most likely make the sale.  This isn't rocket science but I am continually shocked at how often sales people will try to convert others to something they don't want in order to make the sale and lose the sale instead.  Regretfully, many leaders do the same thing.  They try to convert people to what they don't want and lose the motivation of their followers.

Here are just a few of the important things your followers will tell if you will listen:

• What motivates them
• What they think of the vision
• Whether they will follow it or not  
• How they feel about their work  
• What they think of your leadership  
• What areas you are missing  
• Ways to improve the product, service, or process

The follower's review.

One of the most effective tools I ever used to improve my own leadership was what I have dubbed the "Follower's Review."  This is a chance for your followers to give you unedited feedback on your leadership and performance.  Understand, this is not for the faint of heart or the insecure.  This is for the leader who truly wants to improve him or herself and the organization they lead.

The process is this: Set aside two hours and bring in five or six of your followers.  Show up with nothing but a yellow pad and a pen.  The idea is for your followers to have the chance to communicate with you about your work, the team, the organization and your leadership.  You aren't there to argue.  You aren't there to debate.  You are there to give them 5 questions and the opportunity to answer truthfully with no response.  You are there to listen and learn.

Here is how I usually set it up:  When they had all arrived I would say something like, "Thanks for being willing to give me your feedback.  I appreciate it very much.  I think this will enable me to become a better leader.  I also think it will improve our team and the work we do.  In the long run it will make our organization stronger.

What I would like to do is ask you to answer five questions and to answer them with brutal honesty.  I will try not to take them personally and I know you will give your answers with the goal of helping me and our team.  You will have the freedom to say whatever you like, and I won't respond at all.  I may ask a clarifying question, but that is it.  I will take the information you give me and go away with it for reflection on how I can use it to better myself and the team.

"Now, here are the questions I have for you to answer, and we will go around the table one by one.

Q. What are my strengths as a leader?
Q. What are my weaknesses as a leader?
Q. What things should I stop doing? 
Q. What things should I never stop doing?
Q. What other things do you think I need to hear as your leader?"

Then I listen.  I write down what they say so I can reflect on it later.  One of the best lessons I ever learned came from a woman on my staff who gave me an analogy about my listening style and how frustrating it was to her.  It is the kind of insight you will gain when you allow yourself to be vulnerable and willing to listen to those who follow you and know you best.  It is the kind of things that, when taken to heart will transform your leadership. 

Here is what she said.

When I was a little girl I used to beg my dad to play catch with me. Pretty soon he would agree and we would go outside.  He had this rule though.  He would stand in one spot and wouldn't move.  He would only move his arm and mitt to catch.  If I could throw the ball right to him and he could catch it, he would and then he would throw it back to me.  If I through it too high, or low, or wide, he would let it go and the I would have to go get it and bring it back to my spot and throw it again.  He didn't work at catching my throws at all.  Sometimes I feel like talking to you is the same way.  As long as I get it right to you and am perfect in my communication, you "catch it."  If I don't, you just let it go on by and make me do all the work.  You don't work at listening much.

Wow!  She hit me right between the eyes, but I needed it.  Our team needed it.  She needed to be able to say it and appreciated the chance to say it.  She became a more engaged follower when she was able to say it.  I am better for it and so was our team.  The Follower's Review is a tremendous opportunity for us to listen, to hear things we wouldn't otherwise hear.  And to create bonds with our teams which will in turn strengthen our leadership and the engagement of our followers.

ACT on their feedback.

Of course all the listening in the world will be for naught if we don't act on the feedback we get.  If we fail to act on what our followers tell us, we are hearing, but not listening.  Our followers aren't stupid.  They will watch to see if we act on what they tell us.

If you don't, they will simply stop communicating.  They will disengage.  They will stop caring.  Why should they care  you don't.

On the other hand, if we do act on what we hear from them, they will get the impression that they are important, that they have something to offer, and that their insights are valuable.  All of this will be a strong force in getting your people fully engaged and motivated to follow your leadership.

Ask the right questions and you will get the right answers.

Here are the fifteen most important questions to ask to get to the heart of your follower's motivation and your organization's success.

Q.  What motivates you?

Q.  What are your dreams?

Q.  Are you excited about your work here?  The opportunities and challenges it brings?

Q.  What do you want to accomplish through your work here?

Q.  What three things could we do better here that would have the most immediate impact?

Q.  What can I do as a leader to make you more effective and fulfilled in your work here?

Q.  What are our strengths and weaknesses as an organization?

Q.  Which of our products or services do you think we are underutilizing?

Q.  What can we do to improve our work atmosphere?

Q.  What one thing would you change here if you could?

Q.  Who do you think are the future leaders of our organization?

Q.  Are there any responsibilities you would like to give up here?

Q.  Is there anything you would like to try that we haven't given you the opportunity to try?

Q.  Where would you like this job to lead for you?

Q.  What is the one thing you have wanted to tell me but haven't yet?

Review:

The first priority of communication is listening

Listening creates bonds

Listen and they will tell you what they will follow

Use the Follower's Review

Act on their feedback

Ask the right questions and you will get the right answers

Action Point:

Make a commitment to begin to really listen when others speak.  Seek to understand what they are saying and why they are saying it.  Look at your schedule for when you could put together a Followers Review.

At the very least, begin to ask some of the best questions to your followers and listen.