A valued employee left, and I just went through the process of hiring a new "right-hand person." Becky Monarrez, who is very capable and personable, has now joined our team. I'm very pleased with the results of my search.
However, I must say that the process was at times frustrating, at times astounding, at times even comical. I was amazed at the approach of some of the people who allegedly were trying to present themselves well. Misspelling words in application letters (someone actually included the word "secetery"), informally "de-capitalizing" words in emails, wearing shorts and/or flip-flops to the interview, bashing their ex- or currents bosses, making judgmental statements about the potential clients they would serve - is this what you call "best foot forward?" Good grief, was this their good behavior? What would it have been like on a day-to-day basis?
There were times I felt like the interviewer in a story I read. The job applicant who was asked by a friend, "How did your job interview go?"
She answered, "The interviewer told me that they had an opening for a person of my ability."
The friend answered, "That's good!"
"Not really. She was referring to the exit door."
You may or may not be actively seeking another job right now, but understand this: you are always "interviewing." In every interaction at work or home, in the quality of the tasks you perform, in your attitudes that color everything you do, you are making impressions. How others perceive you will determine your future opportunities for "advancement." Depending on how people come to view you, they will mentally welcome you into their worlds or they will show you the exit.
MANAGE YOUR "MAGNETIC MOMENTS"
Every contact you have with people is what I call a "magnetic moment." Your actions and attitudes either ATTRACT or REPEL. Your task in selling yourself is to manage those magnetic moments, to be sure that each encounter with you leaves the other person feeling respected and valued. When someone comes in contact with work you have done, be certain that it also meets an excellent standard of quality, for it carries your signature.
It's the accumulation of these impressions that determines the opinions of others about you. Yes, others' opinions do matter if you want to be a person of influence. People don't willingly listen to a person they don't respect. They stay away from someone whose presence leaves them lukewarm, cold, or steaming hot. They gravitate to those who have the ability to create a feeling of warmth in each interaction.
Situation-by-situation perceptions of you harden into opinions. Opinions create expectations, and expectations skew future perceptions. In other words, if I felt that you treated me disrespectfully on more than one or two occasions and if I didn't have a darn good explanation for it, I would come to see you as a disrespectful person. It would become harder for you to make a positive impression on me because I would tend to look for and therefore see what I expected from you. I'd be likely to avoid you, go around you, or treat you accordingly.
Let word get around so that so that enough people share the negative view of you, and you now have a reputation. That negative reputation limits the opportunities you will be given, and your world become smaller and more unpleasant.
The magnetism factor is always at work. Think about the following workplace scenarios and the powerful attracting or repelling interpersonal forces they generate.
1. You show concern by remembering to ask a co-worker about a difficult personal situation she mentioned last week.
2. You interrupt someone who's trying to explain her point of view.
3. You take an action that affects someone's job without discussing it with him first. He is "out of the loop" on plans that
directly concern him.
4. You openly share appreciation and credit for the team's contributions on an accomplishment that could have just
been attributed to you.
5. You take the time to listen to an employee's challenges and offer ideas, support, and practical help.
6. You call a prospect and begin immediately to regurgitate your sales scripts without take the time to ask questions with
genuine desire to get to know his needs and wants.
The magnetism principle also operates outside the work environment. Consider these situations and their power to attract or repel:
1. You miss your child's first soccer game because something was more important.
2. You visit a lonely senior at the nursing home.
3. You are gracious and willing to forgive mistakes, knowing that you are not perfect either.
4. You sarcastically put down a "loved" one (though put downs are anything but loving.)
5. When your mate walks in the door at the end of the day, you grunt "hi" (maybe) without looking up.
6. You look for something good to say about your teenager.
INCREASE YOUR MAGNETISM QUOTIENT: FOCUS ON OTHERS
Did you notice a pattern in the items that would create a positive reaction from others vs. those with a negative impact? Notice what the attracting scenarios have in common...
1. The focus is off "me, me, me" and onto what the other person needs and wants;
2. The person shows empathy, taking the time to feel what the other person feels;
3. The interactions are characterized by respect an consideration.
In other words, you'll never gain personal magnetism by an "it's all about me" attitude. You sell yourself by focusing on others.
Set a goal today to leave every person you meet feeling better that they did before you came along.
