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Everyone of us has been caught at one time or another
making stereotypical assumptions about people, environments or things.
We see someone poorly dressed and so we may assume they are poor and
uneducated. We hear someone
speaking with a strong accent and we make assumptions about their interests,
families and prejudices. We look at
someone's address and we assume things about their values and lifestyle because
of where they live. Our assumptions
are often made instantaneously ands with little conscience effort as we observe
others' cars, clothes, hair-style, title, accent, religion or color of their
skin. I honestly believe that, for the most part, these
stereotypical assumptions are made without malice or intended prejudice.
Our background, upbringing, and environment simply work together to cause
us to draw conclusions about people and things which may often be far from
accurate. Without intending to we
can bring offense. What is more damaging, I believe, is the limits we place on
our own potential and opportunities when we do. Recently, I arrived in Orlando to speak at a
convention. I had arrived at the
airport at the wearisome hour of 1:30 in the morning.
I had reserved a car from one of the major car rental companies.
(I might add that this company has had a history with me of providing
outstanding service for many years prior to this unfortunate incident).
After retrieving my bags, I proceeded to the area where the shuttle buses
take you to the car rental lot. Gratefully,
the newer buses now have wheelchair lifts on them to accommodate me. Once on the bus and situated where I needed to be, the driver
proceeded to strap my wheelchair to the floor to ensure that it was secure while
he drove. I did not have a problem
with this. Next, he began to put a three-point restrain system ( a
seat belt) across my lap and shoulders.
I kindly suggested that I would prefer NOT to wear the seat belt.
Immediately, the driver insisted that I wear it or find another way to
the car rental lot. I asked him
why, since there was no law requiring it, he demanded that I wear a seat belt.
He replied that it was for my safety.
I asked then why he wasn't concerned about the other six people on the
bus' safety since they were NOT required to wear seat belts.
One of the other passengers even included a toddler.
He stated that the toddler had her mother with her.
That is when my blood began to boil.
I said, "So, what you are telling me is that if I bring my mother
with me the next time then I don't have to wear the seat belt?
How about I just have her pin a note to my shirt next time that says 'He
can sit up all by himself now?'" We were at an impasse.
He insisted I wear the seat belt, despite the fact that no one else was
required to (even the luggage had fewer restraints). I refused to comply and I was unwilling to get off the bus.
Another bus had to be called out to deliver the other passengers to the
car rental lot. After a 30 minute
standoff, I got an idea. I transferred my self from my wheelchair into one of the
seats on the bus. I smiled at the
driver and said, "Now, what do you think?
No seat belt over here." That
was all it took to satisfy him and he was willing to bring me to my
car-unrestrained. I was still livid.
After my business trip, I wrote a stern letter to the company telling
them that their policy of giving me less consideration than a toddler or luggage
was offensive. I am certain that
their policy did not come from a position of malice or intended prejudice, it
was simply from making a stereotypical assumption-that I was incapable of making
my own decisions regarding my own safety, while everyone else, toddlers
included, were. I am pleased to report that the Senior Vice President
of the company contacted me personally, apologized for the offense, and issued a
policy change effective immediately. Each of us makes a variety of assumptions about people
everyday based on what they wear, what they drive, how they speak, the color of
their skin or the extent of their disability. When we make stereotypical
assumptions about people, whether conscienceless or unconsciously, we limit our
own potential and opportunity. We
may offend others. We create
unworkable environments. We may
even lose some opportunities. Placing
limits on others only limits our own success. QUESTION: Does It bother you when others
offer to help you (ie: with a door, etc.) ANSWER:
I am never offended when others offer to assist me. Their desire to help comes from the best within people-that
is something I would rather encourage than not.
However, I rarely accept offers for help simply because I’d rather do
it on my own-to be self-reliant. Every
now and then I feel sorry for someone, however, and I let them help anyway! |
