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You often hear careless communicators attempt to rid themselves of responsibility for clarity with a comment such as, "Well, we're just arguing over semantics now," meaning, "You're getting picky * let's drop the issue and move ahead." Semantics is no small matter. During the 1995 clean-up effort at the Oklahoma City bombsite, civilian officials asked for "d-con units" to protect rescue workers from disease as they climbed through the mangled rubble. Their idea of decontamination units were those in which they could hose down those leaving the disastrous scene. The military reservists were hustling behind the scenes to find their version of "d-con units" * those worn as protection from nuclear contamination. Needless to say, the former kind proved easier and less expensive to locate than the latter. On a lighter note, during the last Winter Olympics, much controversy surrounded the marijuana use incident by Canadian snowboarder Ross Rebagliati. After Olympic officials debated his case and prepared to deliver their decision, they announced at the media press center, "The IOC has scheduled a joint press conference ..." We're a nation that doesn't say what it means. We give instructions people can't follow, articulate opinions that leave others baffled, and state certainties only we can decipher. And we're surprised when no one knows what we're talking about. Not that we don't intend to communicate specifically and concretely, but all too often what is meant to be clear, concise, and coherent comes out muddled, messed up, and misunderstood. If you're told a company has "limited resources," does that mean they have a shortage of money, workers, or expertise? When someone says the job will be done "as soon as possible," should you expect it by noon, tomorrow, or next week?" And if you've been informed there has been a "significant increase in productivity," does that mean six percent, sixteen percent, or sixty percent? It all comes down to semantics * that word everyone's heard of but few understand. Webster defines semantics as "the meaning of speech forms." Simply put * what we mean by what we say. What could be more important than communicating effectively and being understood? The misuse of a single word can alter the entire results of an opinion poll, a set of directions, a personality profile, an apology, an argument, or an engagement proposal. Understand the message. What are the actual words being used? Do you know what each mean? Are the words too technical? Too ambiguous? Too regional? Definitions come in two types. The denotative definition is the literal dictionary meaning, whereas the connotative definition is the meaning a word takes on with particular use or in a certain culture. The denotative meaning of "adequate" is sufficient, ample. But when your manager tells you your handling of a project or an account has been "adequate," you feel disappointed. Aristotle said, "The beginning of wisdom is the definition of term." If we're wise, we'll dust off our dictionaries and brush up on our vocabularies. Know the messenger. Who is speaking? Are they a partner, a competitor, or a neutral party? Is their position that of a superior, a peer, a subordinate, or a customer? Do you know him or her well enough to recognize unique styles and mannerisms? Just as no two people are alike, neither are the ways they express themselves. Knowing the "who" of your conversation can give you valuable insights into the "what," "why," and "how." You can bet a CEO from New York City communicates differently than a rancher from El Paso. The better you know the messenger, the better you'll understand their message. Consider the context. In what environment is the communication taking place? Is it formal or informal? Serious or flippant? A large crowd or an intimate setting? What's true in the real estate industry also applies to communication: Location is everything. Conversations in copier rooms and fitness clubs are much different than those in boardrooms or formal dinners. Just as an awareness of a particular course gives a golfer a distinct strategic advantage, familiarity with the environments of your conversations can give you helpful insights. While boardrooms exude a no-nonsense atmosphere, personal offices are more informal, conference rooms tend to be more neutral, and coffee shops are more conducive to chitchat. Ask yourself what atmosphere you'd like to create in your conversations and choose the surroundings accordingly. Effective communication isn't just knowing the right words to use, it's making the words we use make sense to others. Master words and you master conversations. Master the art of conversation and you build relationships. |
