A while back, when I first started presenting programs that included a section on making decisions, I struggled to find an analogy that would help explain the importance of discernment in the process of making a good decision. One day while watching a group of kids throw rocks in a pond the idea came to me.
Making a decision is a lot like throwing a rock in a pond. No matter how large or small the rock is, water is displaced and there will be ripples. Likewise, no matter how big or small the decision is, people might be affected as ripples will flow out from the rock. So when is the best time to think about those ripples? After you’ve thrown the rock or while it is still in your hand?
Maybe you can recall a time when you had to make a decision; you thought about it, and figured you had all the bases covered. After making the decision something happened that you had not considered, and you were accountable nonetheless. Maybe as a kid, you threw something in the water and it actually splashed back on you; unintended, but there you were, a wet mess!
Examples of unintended consequences are easy to come by just about anywhere. But in my home state of Illinois two separate events took place this summer that really got me thinking again about unintended consequences. In June, within hours of the verdict finding previous Illinois governor Rod Blagojevich guilty of 17 out of 20 charges of corruption, Lura Lynn Ryan (wife of former Illinois governor, George Ryan) passed away at the age of 76. Although Mr. Ryan was allowed to be with his wife in her final hours, he is currently serving 6 ½ years in federal prison for racketeering, conspiracy and fraud.
During this particular news cycle I found myself reflecting a bit less on the public impact of their deeds, and more on how some of their actions had a direct, and I am sure unintended consequence, for their loves ones. Mrs. Ryan, in ill health near the end of her life, was unable to enjoy the close comfort of her husband. Mr. Blagojevich has yet to be sentenced, but speculation is that he may be facing at least as much prison time as Mr. Ryan. He faces the possibility of being away from his family, specifically his two young daughters for several years during an important time in their lives.
I do not think either man set out to negatively impact their loved ones when they made decisions that contributed to their convictions. But like that rock in the pond, once things are set in motion, it is difficult to control who will be affected.
About that rock….here are a few ideas that might help when considering a difficult decision:
1. When a decision needs to be made, hold the rock, and pause….until you are confident that you have evaluated the possible “ripples.” Be sure that you can and will deal with what flows from your decision.
2. Don’t let emotions dictate when to throw the rock. There may even be times when it is a good idea to seek wisdom from a few trusted colleagues or friends who know you well. Reason should drive decisions but sometimes we get stuck rationalizing, or we get angry and want to react immediately. A trusted colleague or friend who knows you well, and has your best interest in mind, might be able to offer insight.
3. The bigger the rock (decision) the bigger the ripples (consequences). Ask yourself, what does my gut/conscience/intuition tell me about this decision?
4. Do a self-check to make sure that what you are about to decide is in line with your values. This is no guarantee that everything will turn out well, but knowing that you made a thoughtful decision, in line with your values, will help to minimize regret if things don’t go exactly according to plan.
