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Reciprocity. I love that word, ‘reciprocity’. It sounds so new-age, so sophisticated. Reciprocity simply means that if you do something for a
customer, in order to feel comfortable with themselves, they are compelled to do
something for you - like buy. Maybe buy is too strong a word. How about listen?
When you love on a customer, the very least that customer will do is listen to
your pitch. The guy who gave a name to reciprocity is Robert
Cialdini.
Cialdini wrote a wonderful although kind of eggheady book, Influence, the
Psychology of Persuasion. If you are serious about service and selling, this
book is an absolute must read. I learned about reciprocity from Fred
Vang. Fred is quite
possibly the world’s greatest salesman for a number of reasons. First, Fred loves
his customers. He always puts them first. Second, Fred loves selling.
And third, a very close third in Fred’s case, Fred sees selling as an
opportunity to serve. Fred taught me about reciprocity when he told me how he
used tea to sell luxury cars. Fred had a customer who was a particularly tough
sell. Better to say, a particularly difficult customer. This customer wanted to nickel-and-dime Fred for every last
penny of profit. Well, Fred recognized that this particular gentleman loves
tea. He was a connoisseur of tea. Fred purchased a selection of the finest teas
that he could locate and had them ready when the gentleman visited.
When the gentleman recognized that he was about to lose his negotiating
position by accepting the tea, he at first refused. But when Fred described the
exotic choices and admitted that he would be hurt to have his hospitality
denied, the gentleman caved. In a
matter of minutes the ice was broken and in short order, Fred had an order for
an expensive automobile at a fair price and equally fair profit. A few months later the gentleman found himself in need of
yet another automobile and naturally, he called Fred. Only this time he made an
appointment on the condition that Fred would not serve tea!
Fred had the highest closing ratio at the dealership in large part
because of his recognition of the power of reciprocity. Some customers he would take across the street to a juice bar where, over friendly conversation and a glass of cold juice, Fred would close deal after deal. Reciprocity. Do a little something for me, make me feel
good by putting me first, and I will do for you. In Dallas there is a wonderful store called Cowtown Boots.
I needed boots but didn’t want to spend the bucks. Melanie insisted that we
stop at Cowtown. After all, we were in Dallas and if anyone would be able to fit
my long, skinny feet, it would be the folks at Cowtown. "OK. We can look. But I’m not going to buy. Let’s just get in out of the heat." Two steps in the door, we were greeted by a Texas drawl
that bellowed out from beneath the broad brim of a black cowboy hat. Whoever
this was, he was all hat and boots. Not much of his face escaped that outfit
save a rather crooked smile. ‘Hot out there, isn’t it?" "You’ve got that right." "How about a cold beer? "You’ve got cold beer?" "Name it and it’s yours, partner!" "Well, if it’s cold, anything light will be just
fine and, do you have those Dan Post boots that look kinda well-worn
already?" "Sure do! And I’ve got a dollar that says we have
your size whatever it is!" In a matter of minutes I was tromping around the store,
steppin’ high, admiring the boots and sipping a cold beer. You know on a hot
day, the best part of a cold beer is the first sip. So I took the first sip,
tromped a little more, came back for another "first sip" and then went
back to the trompin’. I bought
the boots. Reciprocity. And reciprocity works just fine when you are the customer.
When we bought our office furniture, I was a little over-whelmed by the
price tag. It was one of those suck-cold-air-through-your-teeth moments. The
kind of moment when you ask yourself dumb questions like, "What’s money
if it isn’t to spend?" right before you spend more than you should. Before I signed on the dotted line, I asked Melanie if we
could walk down the street for a bite of lunch. Sort of a last meal before we
would be too poor to afford food again in this lifetime.
We had lunch and talked about how this was the perfect furniture and how
maybe we would win the lottery. On the way out I asked Melanie to buy free delivery when
she paid the check. "Free delivery?" she asked. "Or something close to it. Pick out a real nice
selection of cookies and muffins. I remember them saying at the store that they
have been so busy that no one had taken lunch. Pick out something nice."
We delivered the goodies, passing them around the store, even dragging in
a few customers as we joked that we were about to sign our lives away over a
desk and a few odd pieces of wood. "You know," I said to Jeff, the owner, as I
picked up the pen. "This is a really big ticket. I just can’t feel good
about paying this much money for furniture and tacking on another 300 bucks for
delivery." I paused. Jeff smiled, "This is the muffins, isn’t it?" "Something like that," I smiled wishing that I
had a cup of Fred’s tea to celebrate the moment. Good salespeople, whether they are selling a customer a
product, selling a salesperson on lowering the price or otherwise sweetening the
deal, practice reciprocity. When we first coined the term Positively Outrageous
Service, we knew that there was incredible power in the idea of pleasantly
surprising the customer. Now we can say that Positively Outrageous Service works
just as well on either side of the transaction. Surprise the server before
the transaction and you create a tension toward reciprocity. Have you ever been given a business card and not had one to give in return? The tension of reciprocity. The secret is that little things create the most powerful tension. Give someone something big and you create anger or distrust. Give something big for little or no reason and it’s obvious that you have offered a bribe. Sometimes even small gifts arouse suspicion. Try walking
down the street putting coins in parking meters and see what happens. Some will
think you are a saint. Others will just call you nutso. But many will confront
you saying, "Just what do you think you’re doing?" (I’ve heard
that in some cities, putting coins in the meter in front of a stranger’s car
is actually illegal!) Be careful! Reciprocity can backfire! The Scientologists
have a word for reciprocity gone too far. They call it, "out
exchange." When you are "out exchange," one of the parties has
given far more than the other, creating ill feelings, not in the one who gave
but in the one who was unable to give proportionately return. You’ve known people who want to be martyrs. "Don’t
worry about me. Let me do this for you," they whine as they give and give
and make you painfully aware of their sacrifice. Do you feel more love for them?
No! Being "out exchange" makes you angry! So be careful to play
reciprocity to the finish. And the finish is always allowing your customer or
partner to reciprocate by doing something for you, like buy or tell someone
about your wonderful product or service or give you the name of another
potential customer. Vacuum cleaner salespeople have recognized reciprocity for
years. One salesperson I know loved to have customers treat him rudely. These,
he said, were the ones most likely to give him a referral since his gracious
handling of their lack of manners instilled a need to make amends by giving him
a list of their friends most likely to buy. The secret to creating reciprocity is to give some thing or
some service that is of just the right size. Not too big, not too small but
juuuusssst right! After the sale is
often the very best time to create reciprocity. Send a small gift, write a
simple thank you card, call to see if the product or service has met the
customer’s needs and you create a final sweet impression that transcends the
other part of the deal. At our restaurant we used to call folks to whom we had
delivered that day to ask how everything was. That created reciprocity tension
of the simplest kind. Customers would tell their friends that we had taken the
time to inquire about a four dollar delivery order. "Incredible
service," they would say as they relieved their reciprocity tension by
telling someone how nice we were! Perhaps the best form of reciprocity creation is described
by the Cajuns as "lagniappe" which means "a little something
extra." Say you negotiate a big deal, or even a little one for that matter.
You have carefully agreed on price and product. But when you deliver, you
deliver a little something extra. That creates reciprocity tension of the best
kind. Two wheeler-dealers negotiate to the last nickel but the winner will be the one who delivers as promised and then throws in something totally unexpected. That turns heads but most importantly, it moves tongues and creates a tension for reciprocity that far exceeds the original deed when it is time to deal again. Reciprocity creates greater value for the giver than for
the receiver. Reciprocity has one other important feature. It is the smallest part of the transaction but it is the most memorable - and talked about - part of the deal. You bought a $200,000 house with features and benefits out the wazoo and what do you talk about? The funny soap dish the Realtor gave you for the bathroom. I was looking for a perfect example to give here and
couldn’t think of one to save my soul. When I looked through my notes, I
realized I was holding one! A few months ago I spoke to the National Art Materials
Trade Association and met an interesting couple who had an even more interesting
product. It’s a refillable notebook, really cool, with paper refills and a
neat cover that looks like it will last forever. I really wanted one when I saw
it at the trade show. But this show, like most, did not allow retail sales so I
drooled and decided to purchase one at the first opportunity. When I called the association for another reason, I decided
on a whim to ask for the phone number of the folks at Inspiral. I then called to
ask for a list of retailers who sold their products and the owner picked up the
phone. "Are you the guy we met in Toronto? The speaker who
talked about Positively Outrageous Service?" "That’s me! I love your notebooks and just have to
find out who sells them so I can get one." "Well, you gave us such a wonderful mention in your
talk, I’ve been wanting to send you one just to say thanks!" That’s reciprocity all right. I really go out of my way to keep folks from giving me
special treatment just for doing my job but Mike insisted and I gave in. Now, I own everything I could possibly want, except apparently, an Inspiral notebook. It’s the darndest thing but for days I would volunteer to walk out for the mail hoping that my notebook would be waiting. In about a week, there it was. I opened the package and beamed like a two-year-old at Christmas. My notebook, complete with an extra refill! I was thrilled. And now I have to tell everyone about it. As Yoggi Berra would say, "Reciprocity all over again!" |
