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So, you think "networking" is a new phenomenon? a growing trend? a buzz word? Well, it has existed since time immemorial. Proof: "No room at the inn? Can you recommend a barn ... with a manger?" Sound familiar? Referrals,
recommendations and shared information is the foundation upon which civilization
has been built. The community concept is built on communication. We just
need to remember that civility is crucial in networking. How we behave
is as crucial as knowing the unwritten rules which must be followed. As one of my
clients raised on a farm said, "Susan, we always networked. We just called
it being neighborly'." Historically, barn-raisings are the ultimate
networking event. You hammer a lot more than your point across! And, careers have always depended upon networking: the assistance of others. There are myths
about networking that must be set straight. Networking is NOT a work style; it
is a LIFE-style that can enhance our personal and professional lives. Myth: I
don't have a network. Truth: Everybody has a network.
Action: Know who you know. Even I don't have a
100 percent grasp, but as events happen, I remember people I know. Go through
the periods of your life, the class photos and yearbooks. Visualize your
neighborhoods and neighbors. List the names of people you remember. Think about
the jobs you've had. Who were your colleagues, co-workers, competitors, vendors?
You may want to do the activity on your computer, if you are so inclined. Or,
like myself, with paper and pencil. Go through old address books, Christmas card
and holiday lists. And, don't forget the people who are in the periphery of your
life, yet are a great source: cleaner, barber/hairstylist, mechanic, computer
consultant, carpool cronies, local merchants. You will not remember everyone at
the first sit-down. Once it is plugged into your truly personal computer (your
brain), you will begin to remember more - add names to the list. That list is a
reference tool. How we use it is as important and when and for whom. It may be
to connect a nephew with a potential mentor. Or a colleague with a great
mechanic. It is NOT always about us. In time of need,
people band together and help. We see it after earthquakes, fires, floods, when
friends are stricken with illness. People are generally nice. Myth: People should know what you need and offer to help. Most people are
happy to help when they are asked. At a marketing seminar we gave at the Chamber
of Commerce over a decade ago, one attendee said that he was disappointed
because other people often didn't assist/help/return a favor. He asked,
"Shouldn't people know what I need?" Truth: Most
people don't know what they
need - how can you
assume they know what you need! A tenet of life and networking: If you don't ask, the answer is always no. RoAne Rule: How you ask may make the difference between yes and no! Yes, Grandma was right. It is often HOW you say it, not WHAT you say. The best of
networkers ask in a way that allows people to say yes - and gives them room to
say no. One of my favorite
cartoons had a character explaining: "What I lack in know-how, I made up
for in know who." Who we know, and who knows us, is key. How to relate to
and converse with those people determines the quality of our connections. People want to be treated as people not as contacts! The best of
networkers don't even know that they are networking - they just do: refer,
match, recommend, bring people together like - Yenta, the Networker. Myth:
Networking is using people. Truth: Networking is a reciprocal process. It is mutually
beneficial where we give and receive and share ideas, information, leads,
referrals, support and tickets to cultural and sporting events, and laughter
with enthusiasm, support and joy. Science has a term for it, which applies to
networking: interdependence. Our grandparents had a better word: Helping. Action: Assess
the postings in your "favor bank." List the people for whom you have done favors. (This may be tough because many of us give our favors without strings, and it could just feel unseemly. Do it anyway!) Why? Because most people want to clear the slate! List the people who
have done favors for you. Whose advice have you sought? Called to check out
someone or something? Taken you out for beers, lunch, had an extra seat to the
soccer game or symphony. Or like Ben Franklin, when he wanted to made a friend,
who has loaned you a book? By the way, did you return it? Know who you know. Know who you owe. "Networking is
not using others; it s a process of utilizing sources and
resources and being one yourself," according to the late Sally Livingston,
"femtor" and a pioneer networking advocate. Myth: I
don't have much to offer, so I can't get involved. Truth: We all have something to offer! Our skills,
interests, avocation, hobbies. While no one has ever asked me for a recipe, I
can offer information on great restaurants and take out! And, tips on the
publishing and professional speaking world. Action:
List the things that you do well in your job. You may be an ace
at internet research, a whiz at strategic planning, drafting proposals or
organizing the after-work bowling team or relay teams for corporate games. Have
you mentored others? How? List your hobbies: quilting, fly fishing, rappelling (a sport aptly named!), hiking, biking, car renovations, woodworking, antiquing, gourmet cooking. Maybe you are a great wordsmith or brainstormer! Knowing what we do
well allows us to know what and how to contribute and gives us the confidence to
know that we can! RoAne's Rules: Build your Rolodextm. The Rolodextm is a metaphor for the base of business and personal contacts and relationships that you have just by being on the planet. Value those contacts and treat people well. And your network will enhance your work . . . and life. The Ten Commandments of Connecting Acknowledge the gifts-from-others leads, presents, ideas, information, support. Send handwritten thank you notes. We all want recognition and to be appreciated. Stay in touch when you need nothing from others phone, fax, e-mail, U.S. mail, and ... in person.
Have Fun! Life is too short and too long to do otherwise. |
