We have all heard of the Golden Rule: "Do unto others as you would have them do unto you." The alternative to the Golden Rule is The Platinum Rule: "Do unto others as they would have you do unto them."
The Platinum Rule divides behavioral preferences into four basic styles: Director, Socializer, Relater, and Thinker.
Directors are goal-oriented go-getters who are most comfortable when they are in charge of people and situations.
Socializers exude enthusiasm, charm, persuasiveness, and warmth which helps them influence people, and build alliances to accomplish their goals.
Thinkers are analytical, persistent, systematic people who enjoy perfecting processes and working toward tangible results.
Relaters are warm, nurturing, and excellent listeners. They develop strong networks of people who are willing to be mutually supportive and reliable.
When Michelangelo worked on the Sistine Chapel, here's what he might have said and done as each of these personality types:
As a DIRECTOR, Michelangelo might say:
"Enrico, I need seventeen draftsmen, only the best. Send out messengers to Naples, Verona, Milan, and Venice -- even Sicily, if that's what it takes. Here's my preliminary sketch. Set up a meeting so they can divide up the Chapel ceiling, and if anyone creates problems, get rid of them. I'll want to make some opening comments at the meeting; get clear with them on how I expect this to come out. Giuseppe, check into scaffolding; we're going to need a lot. Let's say, oh, next Tuesday, get back to me with several estimates on that. Luigi, find out from the Vatican's architect or mason or whoever if there's anything we need to know about the building, and then get as many different colors of paint as there are on both sides of the Mediterranean, five hundred gallons of each. Marino, set up a meeting with Enrico, Giuseppe, and Luigi to talk budget. Here are the numbers from the Cardinals, and they say that His Holiness doesn't want us going over budget. That won't be a problem, I know, but I expect us to come under by about five silver ducats on the gold piece. Enrico, find me three or four assistants. I need to get down there and have a look at the place tomorrow before I head up to Florence to look at a cathedral up there. I'll also want to start looking at models for the angels early next week, and you know what I like."
As a THINKER, Michelangelo might say:
"Enrico, I need to talk to you for a minute, please. I have just received a large commission from the Vatican. Please, don't say anything, I don't need any congratulations; I need to get started right away. I expect to be deeply involved in this for quite a while, so I won't be taking any other orders. If anyone comes by with a project, take their name and address and tell them they will hear from me within three months. That is all. Thank you.
Hmmm...The Sistine Chapel. Originally built in 1473. Large vaulted ceiling. His Holiness specifically wants certain Old Testament scenes. I will need 1) the overall measurements, 2) the angles of inclination, 3) the overall surface area, 4) number of scenes to be depicted. I will have to find out when the chapel is in use, and schedule my work around it, in the quiet, empty times. I might begin on one side with the Creation, and work my way clockwise toward the center with the Flood, the Exodus, and so on. Or I might divide the surface area into a discreet number of panels, and assign a theme to each. The question is, do I want to follow in the stylistic traditions of the classical fresco masters, or branch off in a new direction. This is an opportunity to establish new possibilities and standards in the art. It is a form that has hardly been explored. Diagrams, I will come up with some diagrams, and then consult with those Cardinals at the Vatican who have expertise in this field. Each segment of the work must stand alone, as well as integrating into the whole. Well, I'd better start rereading. Enrico! Could you please bring me my Bible?"
As a SOCIALIZER Style Michelangelo might say:
"Enrico, come in, have a glass of wine. It's good stuff, from the same vineyard where the Vatican gets most of theirs. Don't ever accuse me of not having connections. Turns out, the vineyard owner is my neighbor's cousin's wife's uncle, and he happened to be visiting; we got to talking, and one thing led to another, and he took some of my sketches over to the Vatican. They were nothing, couple of things I had lying around the studio, pieces I used to wipe up spilled paint -- Luigi, come in, get a glass, I'm telling Rico about the new commission--and they want me to paint the ceiling of this new chapel. It's gonna be fun, we're going to need a lot of people up there, and this is a chance to pay back all the favors everyone's done for me over the years. Remind me, I have to send a messenger over and see if Paulo and Bobo are working on anything right now, and old Benito, too, maybe he'll bring along his lute and a few of those dancers he had at his villa after the last Senate election. The Cardinal, or Bishop, or whoever says they want something religious, sort of heavenly and reverent, but also pretty; so I figure if we get enough decent artists together we're bound to come up with something -- angels, harps, clouds, the usual. Now, are you guys busy next Saturday -- wait, that's the big chariot race--make it the following Saturday -- no, my weekend at Capri -- okay, Saturday after that, everyone come over to my place; we'll throw down some canvas, get out some brushes, eat, drink, and make a few sketches. Heh, maybe His Holiness would stop in to have a look; although, if what I've heard is true about what's going on behind those big white walls, he might be too busy
-- this is some story, Marino, come in here, you'll want to hear this too--but you gentlemen did not hear it here."
As a RELATER, Michelangelo might say:
"Enrico, I have some very good news. I know things haven't been going so well with you and Sophia -- I pay you what I can, but, unfortunately, my business goes up and down. You understand, don't you? But things are looking up. One of the Cardinals from the Vatican just left! A very nice man. They all seem to be so nice, warm -- sincere, that's the word. Anyway, His Holiness has chosen me for that new Chapel ceiling! Us, I mean. Our team. Isn't that wonderful? It's going to be an amazing project; artists for once working side by side with a shared vision, instead of everyone in his own studio. We will have to find a few talented artists that can truly understand what the Vatican has in mind. The cardinal and I had a long talk about what the work should look like, and it is truly magnificent. We have been asked to create a work of art reflecting both the majesty of God, and the greatness of the church. It will be hard, but I have no doubt that we'll come through. The best part is how truly inspirational it's going to be. Just talking to the Cardinal, sharing ideas and concepts and images was indescribable. I have another meeting set up for Friday, when I will present some preliminary sketches to a panel of several Cardinals. Enrico, I want these sketches to be perfect. I want you to work on them with me. I know they came to me, but I'd feel better with your input. Would you mind staying late? I hate to ask, but it means so much. Of course, I'll pay you for it, once they get me an advance, or before, if you need it. You know that all you ever have to do is ask. So, let me get out some materials
-- no, sit, sit -- and we'll get started."
At the root of The Platinum Rule is this: each person has their own habits and their own way of looking at the world. Those recurring traits fall into fairly predictable patterns, known as behavioral styles. Each of us telegraphs our personal style by the way we shake hands, by how we react to stress, by the way our office looks, in how we make decisions, whether we're crisp or chatty on the phone--and in many other ways. The skill in applying The Platinum Rule is in learning to spot those signals, identify the other person's style, and then adjust our own behavior to lessen conflict.
So, whether you're a Michaelangelo, Michelle, or Angelo, understanding The Platinum Rule and the four basic styles will allow you to read and respond to others in a way that will allow you to achieve your best in all of your interpersonal interactions. After all, you never know when you might get a call from the Pope!
