Have you ever noticed how some people create everything they want and others don’t? Or maybe you've found that there are some things you manifest with ease and others you struggle with for years. What is going on behind-the-scenes with these different scenarios? As I work with clients (and through my own evolution) I've identified the following essential elements for successful manifestation. These ten strategies will help you create the life you've been dreaming about.
· You know exactly what you want. [The desired outcome must be crystal clear.]
Although always open to 'something better', items or events that are successfully manifested have been thoroughly described in specific detail. A good way to start is with a brain-dump of the qualities of the 'ideal' outcome. Just list them, making sure to keep them in the positive (for example, 'a kind and sensitive person' instead of 'not someone who abuses people physically or emotionally').
· You know your non-negotiables. [The essential vs. non-essential qualities of the ideal have been defined.]
Once the list of 'ideal' qualities has been created, the non-negotiable items have been highlighted. For example, you may be defining your ideal home and both rural and safe are on your list. When you go back through, you may decided that living in a rural area would be nice, but a suburb or the right urban setting would work too. Having the neighborhood be safe, however, is non-negotiable. Your non-negotiable list should only be 25% or less of your full list.
· You feel GOOD when you think of yourself having these items. [A positive feeling state has been tied to the outcome.]
Once the qualities have been defined, it is necessary for you to link the desired outcome with strong positive feelings and highly charged emotions. One way I suggest to do this is to write a 'Vision Letter' to someone dated 6 to 12 months in the future. In the letter, you are describing your life as it exists with the desired outcome. Using the ideal home as a sample, you describe your new home in great detail, what each room looks like and what it feels like to wake up in the morning in your new bedroom, to drive down the street and see your new home, to sit in your new cheery kitchen, etc. The stronger the emotion and more vivid the detail, the better (and the sooner you tend to manifest it).
· There's nothing you want MORE than you want this outcome. [There is no ambivalence around the desired outcome.]
For a long time, regarding manifesting a relationship, I had the first 3 strategies down pat, and I still wasn't bringing a successful, positive and sustainable relationship into my life. (I was sure creating opportunities for learning life lessons, however!). One day, in what I consider an absolute 'flight into brilliance', I asked myself the following question. 'If you believe you create your own reality and you say you want a loving relationship and you're not creating it, then what do you want more than a loving relationship?' The surprise answer (not immediately by the way) was -- space! Once I acknowledged that I had a fear of losing my space and was willing and able to work through it, I met and eventually married the man I had always believed was out there. Sometimes we need to look at something from the opposite direction, and be willing to ask hard (but powerful) questions.
· There's no un/subconscious guilt stopping you from deserving to have the desired outcome. [You are not punishing yourself by not having the desired outcome.]
You'd be surprised how often this one gets in the way of people manifesting what they want. This guilt factor is usually generated by something that happened years ago that you barely remember (and I can almost guarantee that no one else remembers at all). A wonderful exercise to help you uncover anything like this: Finish the following sentence (preferably out loud or at least written out): 'In this moment, the thing I am most ashamed of is _______.' Take a deep breath and notice how you feel when you say it. Then say it again, take a deep breath and notice how you feel when you repeat it. For most of us, these 'deep dark secrets' have never been exposed to the light of day and there is a tremendous release that happens. In my experience, by the 3rd time we are able to see that it is not something that should be preventing us from fully enjoying life. Repeat the phrase until there is no emotion OR… (which is what often happens) you finish the statement with a different memory. Repeat until you are free of that one and of as many as feel relevant.
· You approach everything with gratitude. [You see the opportunity in every situation.]
I've noticed that people who find it easier to manifest spend a lot of time acknowledging what they're grateful for. Not only that, they actively look for the positive in every situation and express their gratitude (even if the moment isn't a fun one!). Make 'thank you' the phrase you love most. Say it often! Whether to the person, or to God or the Universe or Whomever. When you focus on what you're grateful for, it is impossible for you not to smile. And when you're smiling…. not only does the whole world smile with you, but you tend to attract more of what you want, faster. The universe appears to respond better to positive energy!
· You understand that your job in the process is to identify 'what', not 'how'. [Once you figure out what you want and have released all limitations, step back and let the Universe do its thing!]
While it's important to clarify the details of what you want, it is critical to let go of the need to control how it comes to you. For example, you may be trying to manifest more money coming into your life. Ultimately, does it really matter if it comes through increased salary, winning the lottery, selling items on eBay, or through the generosity of a relative? I'm sure there are also other ways to increase revenue while staying in integrity that I can't begin to conceive. Why would any of us want to limit ourselves to the few we know.
· You take action that is congruent with what you say you want. [Show the Universe you're serious!]
Although this may seem to contradict number 7 at first, an important component of successful manifestation appears to be taking action that could potentially get you the desired outcome. For example, if you are looking to create an intimate relationship, it is important that you put yourself in situations where you will be in contact with people. While it is not impossible for you to do steps 1 through 7, then stay home and watch TV and have your dream mate show up on your doorsteps to ask directions, it is VERY rare! Taking action in line with what you want shows the Universe you mean business and eliminates another stumbling block. It is important to work on two levels at the same time: the physical (taking action) and the metaphysical (visualization, etc).
· If, for one of the reasons stated above, you are not yet ready for the 'ideal' outcome, you are open to the Universe sending you something close so you can work the kinks out. [There is a direct relationship to what you want to create and your life lessons.]
Exciting and true – the more you want something, the more likely it is that there are 'life lessons' to be learned around this area. For example, if you want a relationship really, really bad, you may have to work through issues from earlier periods of your life to finally manifest the right one. There are probably as many issues as people, so pay attention to the trends in your life. A good place to start is to look at what are you afraid of in a relationship? Being abandoned. , losing freedom, losing control, being hurt? Identify where it came from, then work through it. A good tool to use here is the 'Release the Past' exercise you can find under 'Three Minute Tools' in the email edition of the newsletter of under 'Resources / Autoresponders' on the website.
Yes, there may be transitory pain, and it is by going through that pain to the other side that will allow you to finally manifest what you want. So, take a deep breath and go for it. It is very, very worth it. Also, sometimes the 'not-quite-right' person or thing comes along just so we can figure out that we are no longer caught in old limitations. Because of this 'not-quite-right' person, we get to find out that we are willing to stand up for ourselves or where we're are willing to compromise or identify a new non-negotiable. The sooner you can be grateful for this person and the lesson learned, the sooner the '100%-right' person does come your way. [Don't forget to update your 'ideal' list from numbers 1 and 2].
· Know that you can't get it wrong. [Yes, you will change and grow, but how much will you change and grow before you want the absolute opposite of what you want now?]
I know I mentioned my issue with space and how that kept me from having the relationship I wanted. Before I could even get to that fear, however, I need to work through something even more subtle. I was in a process of intense growth and development. One day I realized that I was afraid to manifest what I said I wanted in a relationship because, if I continued to grow and develop, then maybe what I wanted would change. Better to get where I was going before creating a relationship, right? Well, maybe, except I never wanted to stop growing and developing. Once again, I asked another brilliant question (at least brilliant to me because I had gone so long WITHOUT asking it before!): 'In terms of a relationship, how much am I going to change before I start wanting a complete jerk?' No matter how many qualities were on my 'ideal partner' list, basically I wanted a nice guy. And no matter how much I changed, why would that basic criteria change? Once I realized that I could be in a relationship and still continue to grow, lots of movement took place. Of course, I still had some life lessons to figure out, so it was a while before I met my now-husband, who is everything that was on my list and who, twelve years later, is still the nicest guy I know!
