Think about how you like to be listened to. What are the important responses you look for in other people when they are listening to you? Here are four things most people mention:
· First, eye contact. As we just discussed, this is a sign of attention. When you don't have eye contact with your listener, you may feel like you're talking to a brick wall.
· Second, verbal responses and vocal participation such as, "Hmm," "Yeah," "Wow!" and "No kidding?" These show interest in what's being said.
· Third, other acknowledging gestures such as smiling, nodding one's head, leaning forward with interest, directly facing the speaker, and appropriate facial expressions or body language. All of these gestures say, in effect, "I'm really interested in what you have to say." Speakers like to see that.
· And, the fourth kind of acknowledgment is making clarifying remarks that restate the speaker's points, such as "If I understand you correctly, you're saying that..." or "In other words, the biggest hurdles are..."
Use these techniques, and you'll show courtesy to the speaker. Equally important, you'll enrich yourself by joining in a give- and-take that increases your understanding.
