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In the 21st Century, the variety of rooms we "work" will have a common thread: diversity. People in the room (be it for a convention, tradeshow, meeting, community gathering, Bar Mitzvah or company barbecue) will be different from us and from each other. Being comfortable with people who are diverse in myriad ways, and developing skills of conversation so that what we do and say are appropriate, are good manners and makes good business sense. After one of my presentations in Florida, a salesperson in the
hospitality industry told me that moving from DC to Sarasota was a cultural
shock. "In order to do business I was forced to develop my conversation
skills, patience and memory! If I didn't ask about the daughter's soccer
tournament or Grandma Rose's garden, doors were closed to me. I was not used to
this kind of exchange, and had to slow down and become an interested listener in
order to succeed in my new territory." Some of the differences we will encounter are geographic,
others are race, religion, country of origin, cultural, abilities/disabilities,
interests, gender, preferences, and the newest topic: age. Bonus of diversity:
we get to learn from people who are different. Newsflash: The workplace has always held occupants of varying
ages. And the young entering the workplace rooms have always had new and
different skills and mind sets. One reason the verbiage has increased is that
there are more media venues looking for issues, items and news. Another is that
the Baby Boomers, by our sheer numbers, are creating the generational
conversations. And, the young, aggressive, self-assured "free agents"
confidently zigzag their careers redefining loyalty and taking career risks
unparalleled in prior generations in the workforce. This young group today is
different in that they grew up computer savvy more than socially savvy. Bill Gates’ Senior Team – Gray Matters Smart executives and managers are utilizing the experience of others. Mr. Gates has assembled a team of the experienced best and brightest to brainstorm for Microsoft. They range from fifty-two to sixty-two. He values their experience and relies on their knowledge and expertise. Although age bias is prevalent, the "dotcom"
companies are beginning to realize that management experience and skill are
acquired over time, time that can turn hair gray, and are now searching for
those seasoned executives. Turnabout is fair play. GE's mentoring program has a new
twist: older executives have youngish mentors who are techno-savvy (Wall
Street Journal, 2/15/2000). Theirs is a mutual respect for the mentors of
all ages. The older and the young each have much to contribute to the
equation. It boils down to Aretha Franklin's classic refrain, "R.E.S.P.E.C.T."
of people's skills, expertise and experience. We all need to be open to learning
from different sources. "Hire
Authority” Because only the incompetent think they know everything, it's
not embarrassing to admit a missing skill set. That's why I eat in restaurants.
This book is being revised as it was written - with number two pencils with good
erasers! Becky Gordon, who is skilled using her computer and editing skills, is
translating the hieroglyphics. (Don't e-mail me about my antiquated methods. I
have heard it. Many people have looked at me pityingly for my lack of techniness.)
Trust me, the method of draft writing has no impact on book sales! When my website went up over five years ago, in order to view it, I had to hire a fifteen-year-old high school student to find it. And, to teach me how to do the same. His skill and facility with the computer and Internet were astounding. He taught me and I was grateful. The free agent does what he or she does best and should be
doing, and hires out the other tasks! That's why small business owners have
bookkeepers, accountants, graphic artists, attorneys and advisors. That's how
our Soho, free agent community survives and prevails. Building Bridges, Bonds and Business Relationships Talking to different people is interesting and sometimes
difficult. We shouldn't be patronizing nor rude. There is the chance that the
person in the room who is different from us could be our best contact. The best advice came in a gem, from Sharon Gangitano, who
studied and researched American multicultural studies. Her advice, as an
African-American woman, for conversing both professionally and personally, with
people of diverse backgrounds is simple. "Talk to those
different from you...as you would talk to those who are LIKE you!" We have more in common than we do different. Respect and focus on those commonalities and celebrate the differences. Most people have interests, talents, went to school, have parents or are parents, have kids and once were kids. We all want to be safe, have a nice roof over our head, be free of financial worries and have our health. Some of us love the movies, others participate in sports while others of us support the arts. Many people read books - have favorite authors and television shows. And enjoy a good meal! We have more in common that we have different. Oh, Say Can You See – The Differences? In the rooms in which we work, as well as the rooms we visit
for the conferences, meetings, board retreats or parties, we'll meet people with
visible differences. We should not ignore them, nor avert our eyes. Listen Up! Some people will be different in nonvisible ways. Maybe it is English as a second language, accented by the first, or a case of carpal tunnel syndrome that makes a too firmly grasped handshake painful. Or, maybe, a hearing loss that is not profound, but severe enough so as to make events with perpetual noise difficult. According to the National Academy on an Aging Society, nearly six million Americans have a hearing loss. If you are talking to someone at an event and you see them
cupping their ear or notice a hearing device, take heed.
Tips for Talking to Hearing
Impaired •
Face each person as you strike up a conversation. •
Enunciate but not over-pronounce. •
Add facial expressions. •
Don't cover mouth or face with hands. •
Listen patiently. Additional tips from Lisa Goldstein of University of
California Berkeley School of Journalism, in the San Francisco Chronicle,
"Don't speak louder. Don't assume all hearing-impaired know sign language.
Don't assume the person not responding is ignoring you. They may be deaf and
ignoring you!" I know at least twenty men who have either total loss of
hearing in one ear or partial loss in both ears. Too many years of rock and roll
and noise have taken their toll. At business or social events, talk to the person on crutches or in a wheelchair. Lori Sneed, whose dad, John, and I met on a plane many years ago, has maintained and sharpened her wit. Since the car accident that caused her to become a quadriplegic, she has had to deal with the "curious." People will often talk louder to her. "I have told several waiters that I cannot walk, but that I hear perfectly well." The Silicon Valley, Silicon Alley, Highway 128, and all other
high-tech corridors are populated by smart teachers from many different
countries. Jennifer Colton of Switzer Communications in Corte Madera,
California, works with the high-tech and game companies. "The biggest
mistake we can make is judging by looks! The guy in the jeans, pierced ear and
nose, wearing Nikes, could be the founder of the company with lots of VC
(venture capital) behind it! And those CEOs may speak in accented English which requires us
to listen more attentively. And, to be patient. Go to an event in Silicon Valley
and English is spoken with accents from Spain, China, Taiwan, England, Israel,
Latin America and Japan, because our workplace is global and the rooms we work
are diverse. Age Gauge Lana Teplick, Boston-based CPA, observed the young techie from a client company who visited their office to help with a computer system. "He acted as if we were inept on purpose. Remember, we do all the accounting work for his computer company and would never expect the principals to know all tax code changes. Her advice so that "we can all get along" in the
workplace...or in any room we "work" or walk in - "Be patient. We
all have different skills, a lot to learn from each other, and we are trying our
best." And, attitude is everything. We need to approach opportunities, challenges, "rooms" and people with interest and enthusiasm. Couple that with ideas, words and stories that reflect "what's happening," and we have communication that counts. Remember: Patience is
an Antidote. RoAne’s Reminders
Excerpted from Susan Roane's book, How To Work A Room. |
