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It
takes a very special person to be a good coach. Most people are
primarily concerned with how they are playing the game, working out
their job duties or developing their political position within their
organization. They don’t have the interest, time or ability to coach
someone else. But you are probably unique or you wouldn’t be
interested in this article. Let’s assume for at least the next few
minutes that you are special and very interested in how to be an
effective coach to someone or a group of people. Titles The
first thing you must realize is that you don’t need a title to be a
coach. When you work at being the best you can be, other people will
notice. As they see you setting a good example and achieving your goals
they will have a desire to find out how you do it.
It may be a small request at first, but you will notice they are
looking to you with positive expectations. The basis of this request is
a need on their part coupled with respect for you and your ability or
knowledge in a specific field. Surprising
to some is the reality that you may have an opportunity to coach people
above you in your organization. If your intention is to help people this
might happen often. Each person has different strengths. When another
person needs to improve in a specific area they may seek out someone
above or below them. The
danger here relates to the other person being able to comfortably retain
their self-respect. They have to feel safe with you when and if they
expose their weakness or need. This principle applies to people above
and below you within your organization and in your personal life. Character Traits If
you have developed character traits that include empathy and
trustworthiness, these same people will naturally be drawn to you and
will ask you to be their coach. The emotional element that enables them
to approach you is the feeling that they can trust you and you have
empathy. People seem to know intuitively if your intention is to help
and encourage them or if it is to cut them down to size. Respect
for the uniqueness of each individual is another prerequisite to
becoming a good coach. This includes gender, color of skin, national
origin and many other obvious differences. Beyond the obvious there is
still more diversity that requires awareness and sensitivity. Here
are a few for you to examine or call DGR for more information:
Coaching
has to do with the desire of one individual to help another. The effort
has to be primarily one of building up, not putting down. Some people
build themselves up by tearing others down. A coach knows how to read
people and is able to focus on their strengths and how to develop those
strengths more than fixing the weaknesses. Questions One
of the best ways to coach is to ask focused questions. The art of asking
questions is a skill that requires a great deal of self-understanding
and confidence. The other person will learn the most when they discover
new truths and insights without being directly told what to do. Rather,
the coach leads their thinking through the process of asking questions. A
good example of one of these questions comes from Terry Paulson. Imagine
yourself walking outside during lunch hour with your manager and it’s
a long way back to the office when they pop this one on you. “So,
what’s working for you?” Then they listen and wait for your
response. Hopefully, you know they actually expect an answer and they
truly care about you and how you are progressing. Questions will enable you to observe and understand the person you are coaching. You are looking for information but also much more. Learn to study the nuances of behavior. What are their emotions, personal agendas, and goals? Where do they have blind spots? Feedback Feedback
is the breakfast of champions. It takes a secure person to ask for help
and to submit to being coached. When someone pays you the ultimate
compliment of asking for you to influence who they are becoming, handle
them gently. Strive to catch them doing things well. Give feedback
often. Correct in private and praise in public. Make it fun. Charts
are a great way to monitor progress. When you use a chart that is posted
in a conspicuous place it acts as a motivator. It will show you where
you have been, where you are right now and where you are going.
Benchmark the chart with three reference lines. First chart expected
results. Then add a different line to indicate heroic effort and a red
line to indicate the absolutely unacceptable level of performance. During
the process of coaching it’s a good idea to ask the person being
coached how you are doing as a coach and if they are having their
expectations fulfilled. By doing this you will be able to adjust your
own behavior and maximize the positive results for both of you. What
a concept: Coach the coach. It’s a good thing. Benefits There
are many benefits to be gained by you when you coach someone. The
Biggest benefit is that you will become a better person in the process
of becoming a good coach. It will encourage you to set the example, to
be a good role model. It will greatly improve you communication skills.
It will enhance your positive attitude. Best of all, it will build your
self-esteem. “It
is one of the most beautiful compensations of this life that no man can
sincerely try to help another without helping himself.” -Emerson |
