First Impressions Of The Lasting Kind – Can We Talk?

Business Communication   Written by Theresa Behenna - Word Count: 827
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Sticks and stones may break our bones but ugly names can’t hurt us – sound familiar? What a load of codswallop! (That’s Australian for "nonsense"!)

In fact, nothing could be further from the truth. Words have a powerful impact on our lives. They can make dreams come true or nightmares a reality. It only takes a split second to make or break our image, win or lose that client, attract or repel Prince Charming…

A few years back I was looking for love in all the wrong places and so I was delighted to receive a phone call from a girlfriend who wanted to fix me up with this "wonderful" man. Upon asking her what made him so "wonderful" she recounted three good reasons why I should meet him: he was breathing; 2) he was single; 3) he was straight.

I immediately dashed out in my car and proceeded to scour numerous shopping malls looking for just the right dress, just the right shoes and just the right bag to match. I wanted to make a REALLY good first impression. I was going to knock his socks off! (If you get the idea that I was just a little desperate here, you would be right). So my girlfriend and I arrive at the swanky hotel, sit at a table and then she turns to me and points him out across the crowded room. He was the epitome of the proverbial "tall, dark and handsome" man - only he was alive and well and right here in Houston versus on the cover of some fluffy romance novel!

After he comes over to our table, my girlfriend makes the introductions at which point I bat my eyelashes, flash my perfect-lip-gloss smile and extend my right hand. He then smiles at me, making my knees go weak and my mind a total blank and extends his LEFT hand in that ‘dead-fish’ way I happen to loathe. Being an independent woman of the nineties, I immediately felt incensed by this seemingly demeaning gesture and so I blurted out in good old Aussie style, "Would you mind shaking my hand like a REAL gentleman?" With that, he took out his right hand from his pocket, only he didn’t have a HAND at all, it was a metal HOOK – the poor man was disabled. You can just imagine how mortified I felt! I wanted the earth to open up and swallow me. Of course HE thought I was the rudest woman since Zsar Zsar Gabor and as a direct result of all this, I’m still kissing a bunch of frogs.

So when was the last time that YOU opened your mouth only to insert both feet? Was it to your co-worker, your employee, your boss or a potential client? We only get ONE chance to make a FIRST impression – how do you rate?

Here’s a news flash: It doesn’t matter how good-looking we are, what great clothes we wear, what kind of car we drive or how much money we have – what matters is what comes out of our mouth! First impressions can make lasting clients – the average person takes approximately just 90 seconds (or less) to form an opinion of someone…how’s that for snap judgment?

We all need to think twice before we speak so let’s remember that old saying our Mothers hounded into us when we were mouthing off about Auntie Flo: "If you don’t have anything nice to say then don’t say anything at all". We never know how someone else is going to interpret our words so let’s play it safe and keep them positive, clear and courteous…… 

Here’s some food for thought on the power of words:

A careless word can kindle strife;

A cruel word can wreck a life;

A timely word can level stress;

A loving word can heal and bless.

Recently I had the pleasure of addressing the Fort Bend Association of Realtors and had included the above ‘hook’ story and bemoaned my frog-kissing woes during my 45-minute keynote. After the presentation a lot of nice people came up to me to chat for a while. Among them was a well-dressed, attractive man from a mortgage company who approached me with great presence and confidence, extending his arm in a handshake as he simply said, "Ribbit"!

Needless to say, this time I just laughed.


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Theresa Behenna, sparkling Australian pianist, offers a simple solution to complex communication problems. As a world-class musician and keynote speaker, Theresa has hilarious inside stories of celebrities involving ‘open- mouth- insert- foot’ blunders that she has transformed into personal and professional success! Some of her international experiences with famous people include Princess Grace, Andrew Lloyd Webber, Elizabeth Taylor and James Bond. For information about Theresa’s Keynote presentations,



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