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Do you ever have to deal with someone who is not living up to your expectations? You know, a coworker or agent who is not pulling their fair share of the load, or a subordinate who needs some performance coaching? You're certainly not alone. Giving negative feedback to people is a fact of business life. But there is a right and a wrong way of doing it. Here are some thoughts to help you the next time you have to criticize someone in order to try to change their behavior. When you are ready to talk about a problem or make a suggestion for a change in behavior, start with some of these actions. Put yourself in the receivers shoes for a moment and think about how he will receive the news. Choose a good time and a private place. You should never give negative feedback in a public place. Be sure to clarify your motivation and intention. Say "Let me be clear about why I am here. I am concerned about…." Maintain a sincere, helpful attitude. After all, the reason you are doing this is to help the person. Be straightforward, calm and business-focused. An emotional outburst will not help the receiver. And spend time planning and rehearsing your words ahead of time. Some other important factors to consider when discussing bad news are to avoid beating around the bush. Get right to the point about the problem. Don't spend time discussing the weather. Do not whine, dump or evade responsibility yourself for any part you have played in the problem. Avoid jumping to conclusions based on your own biases and don't ever assume that the receiver "can't handle it" or is not interested. You don't know until you try it. Don't bring only bad messages. It is harder for receivers to hear bad news from people who only bring bad news. Communicate about what is working well too. In this way the receiver will know that you have their best interests at heart and are trying to help whether you are giving positive or negative feedback. Here are some suggested opening lines to get you off on the right foot. "I have some information that might be helpful to you." "I know you are concerned about…I thought you might be interested in what I have observed." "There's a problem with…Here's what I think is going on." "When you…it causes…I know that is not your intention." "Let me tell you how I see your actions affecting other team members." "I know your goal is…Let me tell you what I think is getting in the way of that." And finally, "I’m sharing this information because I want to support you. I think you can more easily get what you want by…" Don't be afraid of pauses. When your message has emotional content, give the receiver plenty of time to absorb what you have said. Don't rush. Leave plenty of time for questions from the receiver. If the person to whom you deliver bad news or criticism disagrees with you or discounts what you say, stop talking and listen first. Concentrate on understanding what is said rather than judging the person. Remember your purpose is to help. Ask more questions and be prepared with very specific examples. If the receiver is totally unreceptive, you may have to reschedule the discussion or abandon the effort for a while. |
