One common sense principle of building relationships and prompting people to take action in the sales process is being likable.

According to Bert Decker's book, You've Got to Be Believed to be Heard, George Gallup has conducted his Personality Factor poll prior to every presidential election since 1960. In every election, only one of three factors--issues, party affiliation, and likeability--has been a consistent prognosticator of the final election result: the likeability factor.

And just like in politics, likeability plays a major role in our everyday lives, especially sales.

Joe Girard, famous car salesman, named 12 times by the Guinness Book as the "world's greatest salesman," said likeability was the secret to his success. Each month Girard sent out over 13,000 greeting cards to each of his past customers with nothing more than whatever holiday occurred that month (Valentine's Day, Thanksgiving), his name, and on the inside, the inscription, "I Like You." As hokey and impersonal as that seems, he claimed it worked for him.

COMPLIMENTS HELP YOUR LIKEABILITY

Dr. Robert Cialdini, the author of my all-time favorite book on influence and persuasion, Influence: Science and Practice, cites an experiment conducted to measure the effectiveness of likeability stimulated by flattery and compliments. Men in this study received comments from another person who needed a favor from them. A few men received only positive comments, some negative, and others a mixture of positive and negative comments. The result: the people who provided only praise were liked best by the men.

What's interesting is that this was the case even though the men fully realized that the flatterer stood to gain from liking them. What's quite surprising is that pure praise did not have to be accurate to work; positive comments produced just as much liking for the flatterer when they were untrue as when they were true! 

Here are a few ideas regarding compliments:

BE SINCERE

Despite what the scientific evidence shows, I wouldn't want to take a chance on the transparent flattery. Common sense prevails here.

APPEAL TO THE PERSON'S SELF-PERCEPTION

King George V of England said, "Flattery is telling the other person precisely what he thinks of himself." We all have skills or traits we pride ourselves on. If you can identify and reinforce their self-perception, chances are you're adding to your likeability factor. In preparing a presentation for an association of sales pros, I interviewed a number of members whose names were provided by the association. After speaking to just a few, I recognized a pattern of extreme competence. I commented to one, "Based on the answers you're giving, and what I've heard, I'd say I've got a list of top producers here. Is that true?"

The rep melted, modestly admitting, "Well yes, I do quite well."  My comment was mostly observational, and it just happened to also be complimentary. Since she likely viewed herself as a top performer, the remainder of the interview went even more smoothly.

BASE YOUR COMPLIMENTS ON EVIDENCE

If you can comment on your perception of an event, a project the person is working on, the job they did ... then your compliment obviously seems more sincere. And listen for "compliment invitations." For example, when they say something like,  "... and we just had our best quarter ever...," they've served up a perfect compliment opportunity.

PERSONAL COMPLIMENTS HAVE IMPACT

As the old managerial adage says, "Praise the performer, coach the performance," do the same with your compliments.

"You have a knack for that."

"You know how to motivate people."

And oh, by the way, YOU are a fine salesperson.